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DayDreamBear

aka Isáwien

April 28th, 2013

It's been forever

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Firefly Hope
I know that it has been forever, and for that I am sorry. Lots of moves and craziness in life has ensue. I will attempt to get back to work soon...
Isa

May 6th, 2009

WhyCollapse )

January 31st, 2009

For the first time too! And it turned out good (really good lol)
I live!!!
ok so I'm like seriously channeling Mushu but so yeah lol

I'm alive! we have internet finally (miracles happen! lol) and I'm in New York! Rochester to be exact, living with my Andrea, her Elliot, and their Rose.

The last... yes it has been ten months - have been pretty great all things considered. Having major issues with my mother, grandmother, and in turn to a degree the rest of mom's side (most were against me moving, I mean majorly against it - oi!) throw into that the fact I'm having PTSD shit come up and dealing with random flashbacks to stuff I haven't throught about or remembered in 8 years, and thought I had dealt with 10 years ago - yeah that's so much fun - so having my mother who's wanting every detail about my life (at least she did when I stopped talking to her in June and didn't talk to her for two months) wasn't the best thing in the univer. Well there was that and the fact my grandmother and mother never called me to tell me my godmother who I was the one to get the call from her son back in January that she had a brain tumor and they were operating and I had to tell my mother who told my grandmother her best friend had cancer -- was dying. Far as I knew, she was doing great, in remission, admittedly not getting enough rest and such cause her son is an idiot, but not that she was sick - until the day I ignored the phone call from my grandmother because we were cleaning house, during a break about 15 minutes later I listened to the message and got a message saying my godmother had died (talk about life-altering, I literally collapsed in hysterics, scared Andrea half to death, and needless to say cleaning was stopped) -- anyway found out the next day grandma was leaving in three days to go see my godmother because her daughter had told grandma to come out cause my godmother wouldn't make it to september (this was June) - and not two weeks before all this, mom and grandma asked me if I had talked to my godmother lately, I said about a week ago but only for a few minutes, and we made the promise that whoever got ahold of her first would give the other a call to let them know how she was doing - they got ahold of her first, grandma got told to come out, and they never called. They deny it now, grandma understand why I'm angry at her, mom's ticked that I was acting that way (so was my uncle when I promptly sent an email out two days after she died saying I love you guys but I can't talk to you right now, and blamed it on grieving at the time after my uncle who was my one supporter in mom's family - besides my godmother - actually made the comment 'you don't have any family there, not like my godmother was family to me' about  my roomates who were more support to me in dealing with loosing the woman who was more like a grandmother in some ways than my biological grandmother, and with everything else I've dealt with over the last two years - and farther back with Andrea - which seriously hurt.

Anyway - so yeah, things with mom's family are insane - such is life. Dad's side is still supporting me, wishing I was doing a bit better, able to do school and such - but my migraines went haywire in the summer and are going haywire again and i'm under neurologist care for the first time in my life (which the guy was sitting there going you've had migraines for 15 years and you've never had a neurologist except once to figure out why you had a migraine for 40 days (which I broke that record this summer -sigh-) I was going yup, along with never having an OB-GYN (my OB was in shock about that one too). Let's just say while my mother worked in the medical field - she didn't exactly make sure I had the proper doctors for my medical conditions. Andra's still looking at me when I ask her a question that is OB related and going, how do you not know that, that is the most basic thing... oh wait, that's right, you never had an OB when you should have because of your GENETIC medical condition, and your mother refused to let you have Sex Ed in school in 5th grade which fucked you up becasue the elementary school didn't teach everything that year planning to do it in 6th grade and the middle school you were at in 6th grade expected you to know all that stuff from 5th grade - gods. (OB is sorta in the same boat actually going you're a 25 year old woman and you don't know this stuff.... ooookay... (yeah, so much fun, honestly... NOT

So Andrea and Elliot have tried desperately to get me into RPG - it's sorta not working like they'd hope but... it kinda is. We need to make some friends around here and they can get a group going, they'd be much happier. I enjoy it, but I just need to be in the mood and most of the time I'm NOT in the mood - be it headache related, sleep pattern related (which I have a medical condition that affects my sleep that was finally diagnosed here - and likely affects my migraines -- oi!) or any other possible thing - I just don't have the mindset to sit and roleplay every day of the week - when they had me running a game, I was doing it most every day, then Andrea decided she wanted to run a game, I was like okay, switch brain over, and well it's never gone back - I sitll have ideas but they've mentioned a thing or two about it seeming to not be going anywhere and my brain's sorta flashing back to the reviews I got a story during my first forey into fanfic. net and how it literally killed the inspiration for every story I was working on at the time... so... as you can guess, that ain't going too great.

Finally joined the Disney Movie Club!! woo hoo - my first four movies are on their way now, Narnia 2, Pirates 3, Dumbo, and Whinnie the Pooh! and they only cost me a buck - major happy dance lol. ok so I gotta spend like 100 dollars on four more movies in the next two years - but I'd do that buying them at walmart (prices start at 19.99 and s/h is 3.99 so it's less than 25 but I'm rounding up lol) And if I want, I can sit and get cheaper movies that are on sale here and there too - woot!

Disney's been torturing me with the new things they're doing at Disney WOrld - of course they wait until after I leave FLorida to start letting you in free on your birthday - bastards! -sigh- I'm still trying to plan a trip around my 30th birthday, I have a friend online who is looking at me going, well if you can't pull off the big trip in December, I'll go with you in February after you're birthday - lol. We'll see what happens though

All in all though, I love life in New York, I'm with friends, Elliot's family has sorta taken me in and adopted me, I'm like a third parent to Rose (Aunt Louise or Aunt Lou Lou :-) ) there are days where she bypasses mommy and daddy and wants Louise, screw the parents

well, it's late - I need sleep and hopefully I'll be doing better tomorrow migraine wise - otherwise it's technically going to be the last hours of day 6 and on day 7 thanks to neurologist orders I'm suppose to go to the ER and I'm starting to have anxiety attacks at the ER as soon as they give me any meds that can knock me out -sigh- lack of control issues, aren't they a bitch?

night all, until later - and next time I'll tell about the insane experience trying to get back into this blasted account lol

carebear

January 10th, 2008

ARGH

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Firefly Hope
so, since I don't sit and just vent to Jyn, I'm gonna do this hear

ARGH!!!! Why are people so completely utterly ANNOYING!

For the last what five years now, I have lived with my mother and grandmother - and for the last five years whenever they wanted something done in this house - a clock set on the coffee maker, the tv set up, something done on the computer - they'd have me do it. They wouldn't have me show them how because they didn't need to know - or I would show them how and they'd bloody well forget.

And now, today - I'm being YELLED at because I told my mother very simply how to copy pictures to the F Drive to write them to a CD - and then went back to sit down after saying 'yeah you just copy all the pictures over that you want, then you click on 'Write Files to CD'. - wasn't that a simple enough explanation? Did I sound nasty? I don't think I did - but apparently... because my grandmother yells at me saying 'well you're the one that's always done it, we're just learning'

ARGH! God damn people if you would have been doing it all these years you wouldn't be upset that you don't know what to do and I'm moving

And I had told myself I wouldn't let them get to me anymore until I leave and yet here I am, venting - GOD DAMN IT ALL TO FUCKING HELL

I am so sick and tired of this. This is why I shouldn't have had a breakdown and told them a month in advance that I was moving - I should have stuck to the plan, because that way now without Kim here I wouldn't be stranded here another few weeks with the people who are pissed at me for moving and  not talking to them and all the other shit.

-bangs head repeatedly-

I'm loosing my everlasting mind, I truly am... -sigh-

until later
louise

October 9th, 2007

Jyn's Coming!!!

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Warrick - Giggle

October 4th, 2007

Do not read if you have not seen season 8 episode 2, A La Cart that aired on October 4th in the US and Canada (not sure when it aired elsewhere) unless you want spoilers, then by all means.... read on

August 7th, 2007

Last Night's Insane Dream

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Firefly Hope

August 6th, 2007

So I'm pissed

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Hate You

July 7th, 2007

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